Another Papa's failuria.

09/21/2014

I believe this was the last Papa's game that I actually bothered to play. Since then I've just been using the badgehack to handle all the Papa's games because, quiet frankly, they're all terrible beyond comprehension. I'll sum each and every one of them up here.
The day starts. Unskippable animation.
A customer enters, and you take their order. This process will take ~15 seconds, is unskippable, and is a complete waste of time. This will repeat somewhere between 3 and 10 times through the day, with a variety of customers who have their own preferred orders and so on, but in the end are just annoying.
Between orders (customers enter slowly over time, which often leaves you sitting there waiting and doing nothing for extended times or in the middle of a time crunch with five things you need to do at once), you prepare whatever it is the customers have asked for. At least one of these steps will be a cooking/baking/frying/mixing step, where you put something into some kind of oven for an extended period of time and wait for the darn thing to actually finish cooking. There will also be a step where you have to place something in a very specific pattern on a plate or on top of the food you are making. VERY specific. Ridiculously so. There will also be a step involving measuring how much of x or y is going to be on the food and how well it's distributed. Oh, and don't forget the step (usually actually the first) where you decide what and how many/much of the primary ingredient there is in the food. And finally, I hope you enjoy fake loading screens, because recent Papa's games have started adding a loading screen that doesn't actually load anything. All it does is wait x time while showing you an advertisement for a different Papa's game. Because Papa's.
Then the customer will waste more of your time slowly tasting the food right there in front of you in another unskippable cutscene, then they'll tip you based on your performance to the most precisely minute detail, then you'll waste a few more seconds doing nothing, then you can finally move on to the next customer.
For the cupcakes, it is as follows: Style of cups and type of batter (can be separate types for each of the two cupcakes) on the first screen. Then, baking, and ALL cupcakes are to be baked the EXACT SAME WAY and this stage is entirely pointless. Then, icing, which is done separately for each of the two cupcakes (unless you have a certain upgrade). This must be done in a perfect swirly cone or points are deducted. Go ahead, try doing that crap with a mouse. I dare you. Ahem. Then, the toppings, which must be applied in the correct order (You put the chocolate springles on before the rainbow! I HATE YOU!), and must be perfectly evenly distributed, with the toppings (such as cherries) in the correct places on the very top or else.
In addition, the store, and all of the various cupcake cups, and more, change on a regular basis, making sure to keep you confused enough that you never quite get into the groove of things. The minigames at the end of each day are by FAR the most entertaining, though by two or three levels in, they're just plain stupid again. The clothing has no point either, and the entire game is a struggle to make people you hate like you. My suggestion for how you can play the game (if you dare to actually waste your time with one of these abominations): Activate the AoB hacks that allow you to feed them absolutely anything and still get max score, then feed them either charcoal or raw dough with the leaning tower of pisa on one side of the cupcake in icing, then put whatever the hell you want on top, and make all the day's cupcakes at once and hand the various sets out randomly so that mister picky and miss stubborn who asked for this exact thing with all the details perfectly tended to start jumping for joy when you give them diarrhea on a plate. If you do that, this game gets a 0.5/5 from me. Still too much effort for the microscopic bit of enjoyment I get from it. Otherwise, it's most certainly a 0/5, with no path for redemption. I'd ask whatever omnipotent being may or may not exist out there to have mercy on the game's author's soul, but honestly, I'd much prefer to see him being stabbed with countless spike-covered daggers. Just to watch him scream in eternal pain.
To sum it up: Don't play any of the games in this series. Use the badgehack and run for your life.

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